If I Ever Have a Reality TV Show About Being on the Insulin Pump...

I have a name for it.

(My name): It's Pumplicated

I made up the word pumplications to refer to all the recent mishaps I've had regarding the pump. The husbo brilliantly linked it to Denise Richards' show. By the way, I love how The Soup's Joel McHale always refers to it as "Denise Richards (Colon) It's Complicated."

Last week, I had to redo a 24-hour urine collection test that I had just completed 3 weeks earlier. Why? Because the lab forgot to test it for the main thing it was being collected for. Anyway, because I usually put my pump in my front pants pocket, it is always challenging to go to the bathroom. The pump is in my pocket, and it is connected by a tube to my stomach, so it's complicated (pumplicated). Add peeing into a cup, and it's downright cumbersome.

I successfully collected my urine and was transporting it to the jug that has to be refridgerated. I was carrying it very carefully, and I didn't realize that my tubing wasn't tucked back into my pocket. On my way out of the bathroom, the tubing got caught on the doorknob, and I ripped my site clear out of my stomach. I had just put it in the day before, and since I only have to change it every 3 days, I was super pissed. It caught me off guard, but thankfully, I did not spill the cup everywhere.

A few nights later, 3 to be exact, I changed my site. Three hours later, I was in bed. The husbo had washed the sheets and made the bed, which was nice, but he makes the bed way too tight with the covers not up far enough. I was squirming and grabbing and pulling the sheets, and I accidentally got my hand caught up in my tubing and, once again, yanked my site out. I had to inject another site in, but it must have hit something wrong, because it hurt like a mofo. I took it out immediately, and blood was gushing out. Gross.

Then last night, I went to bed with a normal blood sugar. At about 7 this morning, I woke up feeling strange. I had to pee really bad, and I felt severely dehyrated and sick. I got up to go to the bathroom and felt like I was going to be sick or pass out. Once in the bathroom, I learned that the pump tubing had disconnected from the site. So, I had not been getting insulin for who knows how many hours. I immediately hooked up and gave myself a random heavy dose. My blood sugar was close to 400. Scary stuff.

But at least I have a new stupid word to overuse with the husbo.